Barbara J. Hamby

Patience

Looking back on my life, I realize many situations I’ve been in were destined to teach me patience, not a long suit as I grew up.

The three men I married, all veterans of World War II, damaged in different ways by war, eventually exhausted my patience. Enough said on that subject. Post-traumatic stress disorder was unheard of in those days, at least by average citizens.

Often, houses I lived in required patience, needing various amounts of renovating and offering less than perfect living conditions. At various times, I lived in tiny (less than 600 sq. ft.) cracker boxes. Probably everyone should experience living in a house that’s being remodeled at least once—an excellent lesson in patience. I have never heard of a kitchen actually having been finished in the time promised by a contractor. I once cooked in an upstairs bedroom and washed dishes in a bathtub for six weeks, while working full time.

Children, a blessing, can be great teachers of patience. I probably don’t need to expand on that for parents who might be reading this. If you’re not a parent, think back to your childhood and you might remember an incident or two that could have been trying to your parents. Even today, my children remind me of hair-raising incidents I remember, some I’ve forgotten, and stories I’ve never heard before.

Even pets, that loved me unconditionally, tried my patience from time to time.

Last, but certainly not least, employers had many ways that could try the patience of a saint, which I am not. Sexual harassment was unrecognized until late in my working career. Even then, it was rarely acknowledged or punished.

Now, old age probably requires the most patience of all. If I drop one more thing this weekend, I may sit on the floor and throw a tantrum—a real waste of energy with no one to watch. After sorting a week’s pills into little compartments, I dropped the container and had to figure out what went where to get them back in place. Just now, I dropped a plastic bowl of watermelon. You wouldn’t believe how many shattered pieces flew from one end of the kitchen to the other. Cleaning that up took all the energy I needed to wash the dishes and haul the garbage out. But I’m patient; I can wait until tomorrow to do those chores.

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