Barbara J. Hamby

sign-up for our email list

After the Ball

Domesticity has never been my long suit. I took Home Economics courses in high school, but never got past white sauce in Cooking and a dishtowel and slip in Sewing. As years went by, I managed to make curtains from sheets and turn fabric into tablecloths, placemats and napkins. I did attempt a few garments. A pair of slacks I made during a sewing class, from a pattern I cut under the direction of an instructor, actually fit fairly well. Eventually I cut them off to pedal pusher length and wore them for several years.

Dresses were another matter. A corduroy jumper I made hung just below my knees on one side and dragged the floor on the other. Oops! When I attempted to match the plaid on a dress, I had to keep cutting it shorter and shorter. When it was a couple of inches above my knees, I decided to wear it to a singles club dance. This was during a period between marriages. I was not a total wallflower at those dances, but didn’t get asked to dance nearly as often as many other gals did. That night I danced my ankles off. The reason for my popularity did not escape my attention. I also received many offers for after-dance activities. Slightly amused, but more disgusted, I climbed in my own car and drove myself home after the last dance.

My cooking skills improved over the years with practice. But, among the natural aptitudes that seemed to be lacking in my genes, the ability to picture how pattern pieces go together to make a finished garment is paramount. The other badly needed talent I lack is global positioning. If there is no mossy tree nearby and the sun is not visible, I have no idea where North is, or South or East or West, for that matter. I have no skills whatever in that area. Mapquest has been a godsend for me.