Barbara J. Hamby

sign-up for our email list

Metamorphosis

For twelve years I lived alone and told myself I was perfectly happy to be totally in charge of my own time and space. About two and a half years ago, I began to wish for a partner to share the rest of my life with me.

Soon after those feelings developed, I began to look around and found that the search could be tiring, dangerous and discouraging. The seed of an idea for my book, Find Romance in Later Life, began to grow. I floundered around for a while and then began to work seriously to accumulate and put together information that would be useful to me and to others. (See Anatomy of a Book in my blog archives).

When Al and I met, after emailing back and forth for some time, there was immediate chemistry between us. We talked for hours, sharing bits and pieces of our lives. We discussed at great length the difficulties in a relationship between two people who have each lived different lives for more than seventy years.

For the past two years we have traveled together. We’ve lived together most of that time, also. There have been a few bumps in the road, but we are always able to talk through differences and work out solutions.

I am very happy now not to be alone. I think most of us fear dying much less than we fear living with the disabilities that can accompany old age. Having a supportive partner helps alleviate that fear.

The following is the first stanza of a poem I wrote several years ago when I began my search.

I am a woman who wants
more than breath a life
mate with whom to share
pride and glory of triumphs,
sorrow and suffering of grief,
magic moments of laughter,
those times that are silent
alone in a forest.
I am a woman who wants.