Barbara J. Hamby

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Holiday Grouse

(Not to be confused with the game bird entree)

Well, I think I’m getting the Christmas thing under control. Everything else is on hold and suffering from neglect.

For at least half of my life, I have believed that a woman should have a wife, particularly a woman writer. Rarely do men writers have to deal with domestic duties. They don’t have to address greeting cards, write thank-you notes, etc. ad nauseum.

Thus was born the following poem which has received standing ovations from women audience members at readings:

Why Can’t A Woman Have A Wife

If a woman could only have a wife,
how it would help her go through life;
not just to cook, clean, shop or sew,
but to support her fragile ego.

Humans are not so different it seems -
women, too, have hopes and dreams;
but often their time is spent, most gladly,
on things that serve their own interests badly.

Running errands, wiping noses, washing jeans -
operating a myriad of household machines;
helping with homework, kids’ and dad’s;
planting petunias, roses, and glads,

being daughter, sister, wife and mother,
leaves little time for other
interests such as writing or art,
or to be on stage playing a part.

Devoted dedication to a career,
rarely seems to further endear
a woman’s loved ones to her cause.
nor does it earn their oohs and aahs.

If the equivalent of a wife
were available to save her strife,
there would be no impediment
to having a woman president.